Author: rick heyland

Peak experiences are events that compel us towards success and help us reach self-actualization.

Abraham Maslow describes peak experiences as such:

“The conviction that something extremely important and valuable had happened, so that the subject was to some extent transformed and strengthened even in his daily life by such experiences.”

Abraham Maslow

What Is Self-Actualization?

In 1943, psychologist Abraham Maslow identified the now-famous Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Maslow argued that beyond our basic needs of food, water, and shelter, our highest need is self-actualization. 

Maslow describes self-actualization as; “What a man can be, he must be, the highest-order motivations, which drive us to realize our true potential and achieve our ideal self. Purpose and compelling goals drive us to our true potential and our ideal self.  According to Maslow, one characterization of self-actualization is having frequent peak experiences.

Maslow describes a peak experience as involving:

• Feelings of limitless horizons opening up to the vision.
• The feeling of being simultaneously more powerful and also more helpless than one ever was before.
• The feeling of ecstasy and wonder and awe.
• The loss of placement in time and space.
• The conviction that something extremely important and valuable had happened, so that the subject was to some extent transformed and strengthened, even in his daily life by such experiences.

Sign me up for that! But how? How can we have frequent and intentional peak experiences?

Having a compelling purpose and compelling goals can help you have peak experiences and be self-actualized. Just like Chris Hadfield.

Becoming One of the First Canadian Astronauts

Chris Hadfield is a retired astronaut and was the first Canadian Commander of the International Space Station. When Chris was 9 years old, he watched Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin taking the first steps on the moon. At that moment, Chris set a goal to go to the moon. Everything he did in life was focused on achieving that compelling goal. 

As an early teenager, Chris joined the air cadets. After high school, he mapped out a plan to beat the odds and become an astronaut, but at the time, Canada didn’t even have a space program. Chris decided that becoming a fighter pilot and a test pilot would be the best path towards becoming an astronaut. So against all the odds, he made the fighter pilot program and strived daily to be the best he could be.

Years later, Chris saw an ad in the paper saying that Canada was taking applications for an astronaut program. He was among thousands of applicants for two available positions. Chris went on to be the space station leader for several months in 2012, and the first Canadian to walk in space. He also sang David Bowie’s (Space Oddity) from space, which quickly went viral with over 75 million hits. 

Chris’s entire life was focused on a compelling goal. Interesting to note is that his dream was to walk on the moon, but people haven’t been to the moon since 1972. 

Was it a failure that Chris didn’t accomplish his life’s goal? No, because he has spent more time in space than most any other person. Look where his compelling goal made him reach and stretch to. 

In 2019, I did a podcast with Chris on my Continuous Improvement 4 Life channel. Chris’s life is inspiring, and he’s accomplished so much because of a dream, because of a compelling goal. He is an author of 3 books, including An Astronaut’s Guide to Life on Earth. Chris was named the top test pilot in both the US Air Force and the US Navy and was inducted into Canada’s Aviation Hall of Fame.

Chris shared a great revelation on the podcast,(We are not algae, we are not born under a rock, we are growing, learning beings that strive to become better and drive for continuous improvement towards worthy goals every day. Wow, if that doesn’t jack you up, what will? Chris Hadfield knows what it is to be self-actualized because of a compelling goal. The same goes for my former neighbor, Mike Schlappi.

Shot Happens

Mike was accidentally shot by his best friend when he was 15 years old. Mike was no longer able to play the sports he was so passionate about. He lost his legs, the ability to play sports, and his girlfriend due to the accident. As a teenager, Mike seemed to have lost his entire world. Mike talks about a few months later as he was starting to settle into life in a wheelchair, and then one day in the gym, he challenged his gym teacher to an arm-wrestling contest. Mike broke his arm as a result. So now he was stuck with permanent loss of his legs and temporary loss of his arm. He only had use of one limb, which resulted in a lot of circles in his wheelchair for a few days. 

One day, someone introduced Mike to wheelchair basketball, and he loved it. Playing basketball in the Olympics and representing his country soon became Mike’s compelling goal. 

After thousands of hours of practice and games, Mike represented Team USA in four Olympic Games, playing wheelchair basketball. He won two gold medals and two bronze medals. Mike later played for and now coaches the Utah Wheelin’ Jazz basketball team, who compete nationally as a member of the National Wheelchair Basketball Association (NWBA). 

I’ve known Mike for many years now, and I’ve never seen him without a smile and a positive attitude about life. What impresses me more than the Olympic medals is how Mike conducts his life. He has overcome so many setbacks in life, including an unexpected divorce. Today, with his wife Tami, Mike lives a fulfilling life as a speaker, Wheelin’ Jazz Coach, parent and grandparent, and a faithful member of the community and church.

Mike takes his dog, Kitty, for walks almost every day with a smile on his face. When he was in the hospital as a teenager, he complained to his mom about being shot and the awful hospital food. His mom looked him in the eye and said, (Mike, don’t be a crappy Schlappi, be a happy Schlappi.

His mom’s advice has stuck with Mike to this day. He tells me he does have down days; everyone does. I have seen Mike accomplish 3 compelling goals in his life: winning 4 olympic medals, building an amazing marriage with Tami (Tami has also overcome the death of her first husband to cancer and is an accomplished and compassionate person with a great attitude on life), and becoming a self-actualized Happy Schlappi! 

Listen to my podcast with Mike here.

Achieving Peak Experiences Through Planning

Peak experiences don’t happen by accident. They need to be planned and prepared for. Chris Hadfield used his downtime to build competency and earn more certifications to be prepared for his many peak experiences. Mike took what he was given and ran (rode) with it. 

Do you want more feelings that something significant and valuable has happened so that you’re transformed and strengthened? Start with this application exercise:

What peak experiences do you want to plan for?

In the next blog, we’ll discuss how to set compelling yearly goals to accomplish more peak experiences.

If you want to read more, you can order Mike Schlappi’s book, Shot Happens, and Chris Hadfield’s book, An Astronaut’s Guide to Life on Earth. And if you’d like coaching on planning and achieving more peak experiences, sign up for a free coaching session.

“The secret of change is to focus all your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new.”

Dan Millman

For the past few months, we have been dealing with change in one way or another. I recently talked with three different people who were dealing with big, unexpected changes in their life. Today I’m going to share those stories and strategies that help us walk through change and thrive in uncertainty. 

I was coaching a COO as he was preparing for a big off-site meeting with his senior team. He had just reported to his investor group his quarterly earnings, and his revenue was down due to COVID-19. He was brainstorming how to get back on track. Together, we strategized about ways to help his team move forward despite the disruptions.

I was also coaching a CFO of a small start-up. He was in the process of selling his shares and moving to another company. The share evaluation came in lower than expected. He felt betrayed and at a loss of what to do.

I was having a conversation with my 85-year-old father recently. My parents were doing quite well through COVID-19. My brother and his wife were visiting and bringing the necessary supplies that would allow our parents to stay safe in isolation. 

My parents are missing regular human interactions, but are doing quite well with all things considered. Unfortunately, in the last three weeks, my father experienced significant, undiagnosed chronic pain in his knee and foot. He started using a walker, and his steps were slow and gated for the first time in his life. He was struggling to deal with the change.

What do these stories have in common? They’re all stories of transition and change. Most of us are experiencing significant changes personally and professionally during this pandemic.

Responding to Unexpected Change

What is the best way to respond to unwanted and unexpected changes in our life?

Some of us spend a lot of energy focusing on what we have lost. Of course, we all need time to vent and mourn our losses. But after the mourning, after the venting, what’s the best strategy to deal with unwanted or undesired change?

Is the best strategy to work harder? Is the best approach to meditate more? Is the best strategy to connect more with others? Should I exercise more? Should I give my team a big pep talk?  

All these suggestions are helpful, but how do I truly move on?

I love the Dan Millman quote I included at the beginning of the article. The best use of our energy is not to focus on the pains of change, or blaming the boss, your employees, the doctors, or God for the change. It might feel better in the short-term to complain or confess the sins of somebody else, but that won’t help you move forward. 

The best use of our energy is building something new. But how?  

The first step to moving forward is to accept the change.

Accept, Connect, Take Action

I highly recommend Russ Harris’s book, The Happiness Trap. He has some great tips to stop struggling with change and to start living. Russ shares,

“Once you acknowledged a story, that’s it—just let it be. You do not have to challenge it or push it away, nor do you have to give it much attention. Simply let it come and go as it pleases, while you channel your energy into doing something you value.”

The formula for effective change is:

1. Accept
2. Connect to your values
3. Take appropriate action

When we have a challenging or negative thought, Dr. Russ recommends asking, “Is this thought helpful? Does it help me take action to create the life I want? If it’s helpful, pay attention; if it’s not, defuse it.”

How does this apply to a business that’s suffering from the pandemic?

The first step is accepting that the pandemic happened, and there are long-term changes associated with it. One of the saddest things I hear leaders say is, “I can hardly wait until the pandemic is over. Then I can fix my budgets, sales will go back to normal, and I’ll start hitting my goals.” Or individuals who say, “I can hardly wait until the pandemic is over, then I can finally be more successful, lose weight, and start working on my goals again.”

Some of the effects of COVID-19 are here to stay. If you’re waiting for things to get back to how they used to be, you’ll be waiting a long time.

With the COO I mentioned above, we discussed an approach that allows his team to vent about the effects that the pandemic was causing on their sales. After that exercise, he coached his team to move on. 

Then he asked questions like, How will this pandemic change business forever? How do we stay in front of those changes? How do we adapt faster than our competition? If our clients won’t meet with us in person, how do we become the best remote sales team in the world? How would the best remote sales team do things differently now?)

These types of questions and exercises helped the team move forward and make new plans rather than waiting for things to return to normal.

How does this apply to undesirable personal changes?

Accept the change. Try to observe what is happening, be an observer of your own story in your head. After a day of venting and a night of sleep, approach the change with a new mindset.  Accept what is. Find the learnings. Develop some small steps that will help you try new ideas to cope with the new reality. 

The CFO mentioned above, the one who felt betrayed by a low share evaluation did vent for a day or two. He got over the personal hurt and started focusing on the facts. He disassociated with the personal loss or any personal slight he might have felt and negotiated based on his values of integrity, honesty, and fairness. 

He shared the updated evaluation data with the other owners. He tried not to make it personal and eventually received an improved evaluation and an eye-opening lesson on change. If he held on to the feelings of betrayal, he wouldn’t have had the peace of mind to negotiate based on his value system rather than anger or hate.

My dad is also doing better. He kept trying new things to fix his leg. He came to grips with the idea that this may be here to stay. He got more comfortable with others helping and serving him (which is not an easy change). Eventually, they did find the cure, and the pain has subsided.

Change is hard, no question about it. Having a plan can help tremendously. Remember to take things one step at a time:

1. Mourn the change and move on
2. Accept the change
3. Connect to your values on how you want to show up through the change
4. Develop small steps each day to deal with the new reality

Develop your plan to deal with change. Be ready to spend your energy on the new. I believe there are always new opportunities to build something new and thrive in business and life.

If you want to learn more, set up a coaching session with me.